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 AAAARGH!! ... continued |
| I took a bus. I hoped and prayed all the time. It's funny how we pray only when we need to. We pray regularly, as a ritual but we pray with all our heart, sincerely only when we want something. Is he really bothered? Or do we live an illusion? There seemed to be no signs of disturbance. But I could almost feel the tension in the air. Everyone in the bus was scared. Scared that anytime, a stone might fly in and shatter the window. The bus reached my stop. I got off. It was summer, but I felt cold. I was wearing only a thin T-shirt and a pair of jeans. I reached the gates . I was early, I could not see anybody yet. I walked in and went to the notice board. There was nothing there.
Then I noticed the small paper pinned up, that said "Results of the A.I.S.S.C.E will be put up at 10 am". I looked at my watch. It was only 8:30. I had to endure one and a half hours of anxiety. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. I sat down on one of the benches nearby. And waited. One by one my classmates began to trickle in. Perfunctory hellos were exchanged. Everybody was as anxious as I was. Everybody kept asking each other the time. Some parents came too. Someone tried to crack a joke to lighten the atmosphere. But nobody was in the mood to laugh. By 10 am, quite a crowd had gathered. At last a peon came with two large sheets of paper. The course of our lives would be determined by the contents of those sheets. He put them up on the notice board. At once all of us crowded around the board. Eagerly we shoved each other aside fighting like a pack of dogs to catch a glimpse of the numbers there. Shrieks of joy could be heard from somewhere, Someone had maxed a paper. But I could not care less. I scanned the paper searching for my roll number. There it was! T202007. Ah! English: 95! Physics: 99! I felt like I was over the moon. Chemistry: 98!! Suddenly a huge hammer dealt a massive blow, destroying all my insides. For a moment I experienced pure shock. I looked again in pure disbelief. Mathematics : 39. Thirty Nine!!! I checked again, were these my marks?? Then realization set in. It was true. 39! I did not scream or wail. I simply groaned, weakly. I turned around, not bothering to read the rest. I was ruined. It was all over. Thirty nine!! Somebody asked me how I had done. I did not bother to reply. Everything else seemed so far and distant. I walked out, not knowing where I was going. I was dazed. Overcome by the sheer shock. I could not think. Again and Again those numbers shrieked in my mind. Thirty Nine?!! What was I going to do? I would have to write the supplementary exams. I had done so well in the others! What happened in math?? Slowly the shock wore off. But those numbers refused to stop haunting me. 39!! I had studied so hard! I had worked my head off. And I thought I had done so well! I knew I had done well. Slowly black rage crept into my mind. This was not my fault. Some examiner had goofed up. This was all a terrible cruel mistake. There had to be some explanation. How could this happen? It happened to others, not to me. Thirty nine??!! |
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