During the course of our lives, we learn the golden rules of queuing. If two of us go to buy railway tickets, we separately join the queues of two different ticket counters. Whichever queue moves fast, we reap the benefit by spreading our bets. In case you need to leave the queue to make some enquiry, you must tell the person behind you ( mind you - not the one in front ), that you’d be back in a short while. Women are quick to find out if they can have a separate queue and manage the tickets in double quick time.

Sometimes, they insist there should be a separate queue for women if there isn’t one and end up in cajoling the counter clerk and irritating the persons in the queue. Another caveat for queuing up is checking for small change. Do you have the exact fare counted out to the last rupee ? The clerk is sure to ask you to wait until someone gives him change so that he can process your tickets. Then you wait. Often for long. So make sure you are carrying the exact amount.

We have learnt the art of negotiating the most meandering and serpentine of queues. Being alert in safeguarding the order of the queue members is another necessary quality every Indian has. There are many scoundrels, who, on the pretext of making some enquiry of the counter clerk, would sneak into the queue. We must be vehement in our protest and spare no expletives until the illegal immigrant to the queue has been driven out. In case of an altercation, the general public holds an impromptu tribunal and its judgement is binding upon both parties. An appeal to a higher authority is seldom entertained. Women standing in a common queue need to learn the art of preventing their bottoms from being pinched. Their artfulness can also enable them to jump the queue. They use their charm on guileless chaps at the head of the queue to procure their movie tickets. This is usually done with a sweet smile at a complete stranger (who’s nearing the counter), followed by a polite request for 2 tickets.

Hawkers find queues a good hunting ground. Especially if it is a hot day and some refreshments are much in demand. In gargantuan queues (those witnessed at shrines like Tirupati, Shirdi etc.), hawking is big business. Stalls selling edibles and beverages are frequently encountered all along the length of the queue. However, parents needing to queue up for days to buy admission forms of prestigious schools do not enjoy such privileges. They carry their own stool and sit tight until their spouse comes after 8 hours to relieve them so that they can go home and catch some sleep.

In public departments, time is always aplenty. So the public needs to ring in a sense of urgency into the whole situation. In case the counter window has not been opened at the time written on it, we must make sure that it opens by thumping hard on it until it opens. And for some mirth, you can read the graffiti that people have painfully scribbled on the walls while they waited their turn. A very common one is the sign of a cross with the words - In memory of all those who died while waiting in this queue.

Another silver lining that queues provide is companionship. During the hours that one has to stand, many acquaintances are made - some holding the chance of developing into a friendship. Meeting one’s mate in a queue is certainly not ruled out either.

Today, queues are under threat. The next generation will possibly never learn the survival skills needed for queuing. Thanks to the Internet, queues are getting obsolete by the day. You can already book cinema tickets, pay your bills, do your banking; and very soon railway reservations will be made possible through the net. Is this what technology is doing to our civilisation? It always does so. Living in this world means learning to cope with change. To adapt and to survive. To unlearn the old ways and take to the new. So take to the mouse and learn about browsers, search engines, hyper-text links and navigate the net if you wish to live it up in the 21st century.

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